The Decline of Anime
by K.T. Glover
Summary: The boys are back and this time they're going to the motherload of anime goodness, the Otacon Convention! What they don't realize is that three men want to see them suffer and there is still more crappy anime to behold.
1. Episode 1

**_Author's Note: This fan-fic was inspired by the flash movies "The Decline of Video Gaming" series by the Super Flash Brothers (by the way, which all who read this must see, it is very funny and entertaining, their stuff is on ). It was intended as another Trigun fic, but somehow I couldn't get Wolf's Rain out of my head, so I decided to make this one about them. I hope you all enjoy this one! (Sorry I scraped the idea for Indiana Wolfwood, it was just too hard and I wasn't very confident with it.) All The anime and/or characters mentioned do not belong to me and any films mentioned do not belong to me either. Don't be offended if I make fun of the anime that is mentioned here (except for Dragonball Z, which is a piece of crap.) If it's in here, that means I like it, ok, good! This is a One-Shot._**

* * *

Intro Voice: Long ago, in a country not so far away, there was a time when cartoons regined supreme above all other forms of media. Everyone was contempt with what they had. The Japanese had a different approach to things though. They created something different. It was called "anime." Anime was different from all of the other cartoons. The Americans simply adored anime when it came to their country. It had something that revolutionized the cartoon world, something that has been never used before, storylines. Things were looking bright at the turn of the twentith-century, but as we became more engrossed in computer technology, these works of art have become three-dimmensional instead of being it's two-dimensional self. Now, we fear the decline of anime.

* * *

_**Barnes and Noble, Saturday, 1:30 PM, 2004:**_

_Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe walked into the Barnes and Noble to buy some anime. Kiba wanted something with brilliant storylines, while Toboe wanted something that was abstract and humorous. Tsume liked hard hitting action, as for Hige, well, you could say he liked a different kind of "action." That's right, Hige liked hentai, no surprise there. Hige liked the hentai that had hot girl-on-girl action, the threesomes that involved two girls and a guy, and straight people porn. The boys walked into the store and looked for any anime releases on the shelf. Kiba and Toboe went on one side and Tsume and Hige went to another. They all looked for some good anime._

Kiba: Man, I sure hope they have the new "Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex."

Toboe: Probably not, but I'm looking for some "Full Metal Alchemist" stuff.

_Hige squeeled in delight when he found something "interesting."_

Kiba: Well, looks like Hige already found what he was looking for.

_Hige walked up to Kiba and Toboe, while Tsume was holding his forehead._

Toboe: What's that you got there, Hige?

Hige: Check it out it's the new "Inuyasha" movie, "Live On The Golden Porn."

* * *

Miroku: Oh Sango, you're so good. 

Sango: Oh Miroku! Don't stop now!

Inuyasha: Less talking, more moaning people! I'm trying to film a professional porno!

Kagome: Inuyasha, are you done with Sango and Miroku yet? Noraku and Seeshomaru have still yet to do their scene!

Shippo: With things the way they're going at this rate, we'll never get this done. Goodbye Woody for Best Porno of the Year. _(A/N: The Woody is an award won by people in the porno industry)_

* * *

Kiba, Tsume, Toboe: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Toboe: Hige!

Tsume: Hige that's gross!

Kiba: Not all of us are into hentai like you are!

Hige: I thought you guys all liked "Inuyasha?"

Tsume: Not while they're all getting down and dirty!

_Hige put back the dvd on the shelf and walked over to the other side. Kiba walked over to the action section and found a new release of "Big-O."_

Kiba: Oooooooooooo, "Big-O, The Lost Episodes" this should be good.

* * *

Roger: Norman, how much do you have?

Norman: A million in chips sir.

Roger: God Dammit.

_(piano playing from a drunkard)_

Roger: Dorothy would you stop playing the piano!

Dorothy: If you like pina colladas, gettin caught in the rain.

* * *

Kiba: Ehhhhh, maybe not.

_Kiba put back the dvd on the shelf and went to look for Hige. Tsume took the escalator upstairs to go to the Foreign Section of the dvd releases. He was scanning the shelf until he found the Canadian version of "Trigun."_

Tsume: They finally have a Canadian version to "Trigun." I wonder if it's any good.

* * *

_(Insert South Park Music, I do not own South Park either)_

_Wolfwood and Vash are sitting on the couch watching TV. Knives walks by to see what's up._

Knives: Wolfwood, what are you doing here buddy?

Vash: Hey relax guy.

Wolfwood: We're just watching some TV.

Knives: Do you know what the show's aboot.

Vash: Hey relax guy and come sit down.

_Wolfwood then farts on the couch._

Knives: Did you just fart Wolfwood?

Wolfwood: Yes I did, Knives.

Vash: Just now?

Wolfwood: Just after these commercials.

_(think Terrance and Phillip laugh)_ Vash, Knives and Wolfwood: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

* * *

Tsume: Maybe not.

_Tsume put the dvd collection back and went down the escalator. Tsume met up with the others. Toboe was looking in the bargain bin. He found an old anime and decided to show it to the guys._

Toboe: Look what I found!

_Toboe showed the boys the anime. It was "Dragon Ball Z."_

Hige: Oh god no!

Tsume: Ewwwwwwwww!

Kiba: What are you thinking Toboe?!

Hige:There's no hentai in this!

Tsume: The action in this show alone can give you seizures for years!

Kiba: Even porno has better storylines than this show!

_Toboe shrugged his shoulders and tossed the dvd aside, hitting Goku in the head. Goku started shedding a tear._

_The boys walked over to the Comedy section and Toboe picked up a copy of the new "Cowboy Bebop."_

Toboe: What about this one Kiba?

_Kiba looked at the anime and made a face of disgust._

Kiba: "Cowboy Bebop: Spike Lee's Revenge?" I don't think so Toboe.

Hige: Man the original was ten times way better than that piece of crap.

Tsume: Too bad you can only see it in a museum nowadays.

* * *

_The crowd at the museum gathered to take a closer look at the original "Cowboy Bebop." While others were taking pictures._

The crowd: Ooooooooooooooooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

* * *

Kiba: Man, all these new anime releases suck!

Tsume: Well, if you're looking for a character that has stood the test of time, it's this guy.

_Tsume pointed to a shelf where "Lupin The Third" was placed._

Hige: I guess "Lupin" has done a wide variety of things.

Kiba: Yeah, but "Lupin Sets The VCR," "Lupin's Attempted Lysol Drive-By," "Lupin and Fujiko Get Married In Las Vegas?" Give me break.

Toboe: I'd have more fun watching our dryer and washer in a race.

* * *

Tsume: Go washer! Do your rinse cycle!

Hige: Go dryer go!

Tsume: Come on washer!

Hige: Hey Tsume, is that your crush Alexis walking by?

Tsume: Where?

_Tsume turned to see if his crush was there, but she wasn't and Hige was trying to make the dryer go faster. Tsume turned back around and Hige gave him a mischeveous grin. Tsume threw a shoe at Hige and he fell to the ground with a loud thud._

* * *

**_The End._**

* * *

**_A/N: If you guys liked it, let me know so that I can do a sequel! By the way the anime titles are not real, just to let you know. I also do not own Spike Lee. ;)_**


	2. Episode 2: Otacon Part 1

* * *

**_Author's Note: Well since you guys liked the first episode of "The Decline of Anime", I've decided to do a second installment. If you guys want the disclaimers go to episode 1 and read them because I'm not in the mood to post them here. Anyway, I read one review saying that Hige would go for comedy and Toboe would go into Romance because Toboe is sensitive. I love Toboe because he's so cute and cause I do look like him (I have the same hair cut and color and eye color as him so I could easily pass off as Toboe). I do agree with that review, but knowing Hige (I love him too, but not as much as Tsume ::drool::) I know he would be into hentai because he is a funny pervi wanker. I hope you enjoy the second episodes and as always, don't forget to review or flame. I accept both. I also do not own Trojan Condoms, don't ask just read. I don't own any video game characters either._**

* * *

_Saturday, September 25, 2004, 9:33 AM, Kiba's House_

_Kiba and Tsume were sitting on the couch watching anime, as they usually did every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning._

Kiba: Watching all of this anime can't be good for our health.

Tsume: I agree, we should go outside.

* * *

_Tsume and Kiba were sitting outside of Kiba's home watching anime on the couch._

* * *

_**(Insert intro music from Kung Pow: Enter The Fist) **_

_**The Decline of Anime Episode 2: The Otaku Convention: Part 1.**_

_**Starring: The cast of Wolf's Rain.**_

* * *

_Kiba's House_

_The boys were sitting at the living room in the house when Kiba brought in the mail and opened the letter._

Kiba: Hey guys, we have a letter from the Animation Solicitors Society. _(A/N: I was bored and I know the title of the organization doesn't make sense either, but I just wanted a funny acranim... I know I spelled that word wrong)_

Hige: Well, what are you waiting for, read the damn letter!

Kiba: Geez, all right, keep your pants on.

Hige: What's that supposed to mean?

* * *

_New Year's Eve Party_

Hige: As I asked you before a thousand times, can I please have your number Blu?

Blu: Only if you had your pants on, Hige.

_Hige looked down and realized he didn't have any pants on._

Hige: Well at least I skipped a few steps, huh Blu?

Blu: I think I need to go use the bathroom.

* * *

Hige: Oh, you're still pissed about the whole New Year's thing right? 

Toboe: I don't think Kiba was pissed, I think he was embarassed, but Tsume and I were laughing our asses off.

Tsume: And no to mention Blu felt very harassed by the presence of your "monster."

Kiba: Uh, guys, I'm gonna read the letter now, if that's ok.

Hige: Go ahead.

* * *

Honky Bustacap: Dear Mr. Kiba, 

As you have sucessfully reviewed our anime with such finesse and such brilliant and insightful criticism, we would like to offer you this year's Critic of the Year award. Your trophy will be delivered in 7 to 10 business days and enclosed are four tickets this year's Exaggerated Anime Convention (Otacon). I hope to see you and your friends there soon.

Sincerely, Honky Bustacap

Animation Solictors Society

* * *

Hige: Wow! We get to go to Otacon, sweet! 

Toboe: I can't believe it! Hey we should get going!

Kiba: Yeah we should get going.

Tsume: We'll get going, right after this.

* * *

Announcer: And welcome to this week's exciting edition of Redneck Roadkill! Here's a redneck running over a poor defenseless moose.

* * *

Tsume: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That is classic! Okay let's get going.

* * *

_Miami International Airport, 1:45 PM_

_The boys were boarded on the plane and they were all sitting comfortably, except for Hige._

Toboe: Ki-baa, Hige won't sit still!

Kiba: Hold on, Toboe. Hey miss?

Flight Attendant: Yes sir?

Kiba: Could you get my friend a box of crayons?

Flight Attendant: Of course sir.

_The Flight Attendant handed Hige a box of crayons. Hige opened up the box and suddenly became giddy like a school girl._

Hige: Yay! A green one!

Tsume: I wonder what the inflight movie is?

* * *

Announcer: It's the smash hit anime film that captured Otaku hearts everywhere. "Dragonball Z: Gone With The Wind."

* * *

Hige: OH GOD NO!! EJECT EJECT! 

Kiba: Uh Hige, there is no eject button.

Hige: I'll show you!

_Hige jumped out of the plane window._

Toboe: Wouldn't he be hurt, Kiba?

Tsume: Don't worry the plane hasn't taken off yet.

* * *

_Tokyo, Japan Otacon_

_The boys entered the building and their jaws dropped._

Kiba, Tsume, Toboe, and Hige: Ooooooooooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Hige: Wow! This convention is huge!

Toboe: There are people from around the world here!

Tsume: Look at all of the anime they have for display.

Kiba: Let's look around. Hey Toboe, what's that in your hand?

Toboe: Oh this it's a Tamagochi! Aren't they the coolest?

Tsume: Uh Toboe, those were the biggest fad in 1997.

Hige: Man, I'm surprised yours still works.

Kiba: Look at it this way, those things were a lot better than that stupid pet rock.

Tsume: Hey! Don't you dare dis the pet rock!

Hige: Yeah, but they're not as creepy as those goddamn Furbies.

* * *

Little Girl: I love you, Furby!

Furby: Me love you!

_As the little girl turned off her lights and fell asleep, the Furby's eyes glowed red._

Furby: Must...kill...child...must...kill...President...Bush...must...make...sex...tape...with...Paris...Hilton...must...make...millions...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

* * *

_All four boys shuddered their shoulders at the thought of evil Furbies taking over the world. They all walked up to a shop both where they all saw a familiar face._

Kiba: Lord Darsche!? What are you doing here?

Lord Darsche: I've decided to live out my dream.

Tsume: Which was?

Lord Darsche: Sell Condoms.

Hige: Really, well in that case do you have the Trojan Heated Sensation Condoms by any chance?

Toboe: Hige! Well it's nice to see that you're not trying to kill us.

Lord Darsche: I know. This is actually a lot more fun. It's better than dealing with that neighbor of mine.

Tsume: Oh yeah, so how is Mario?

* * *

_Mario was sitting on the couch, flipping the channels on his remote control. He then decided to go to the bathroom and lock the door. Luigi ran by, asking Mario to open the door._

Luigi: Mario! Open this door! I have to defecate now!

Mario: Keep your pants on!

Lord Darsche: Would you please shut up! People are trying to sleep here!

* * *

Kiba: That sucks.

Toboe: Having to put with noisy neighbors isn't really fun at all.

Lord Darsche: Tell me about it and it's not just me that complains about them, the whole neigborhood complains about them too. Well, I have to get back to work, I'll see you guys around.

Hige: Before you go back to work, can I get some condoms for free?

Lord Darsche: Knock yourself out.

Hige: Thanks.

_Hige grabbed a handfull of condoms and shoved them into his pocket. The boys walked to a booth where they were showing the new Vampire Hunter D movie._

Tsume: Ooooooo, Vampire Hunter D!

Toboe:"Vampire Hunter D: The One Man Show."

Hige: Sounds pretty exciting.

* * *

D: Rocket...man...burning...through...the..sky.

* * *

Kiba: Uh, I wouldn't get that movie.

Tsume: Why not?

Kiba: It's one of those William Shatner type of things.

Toboe: Oh man, they have shitty anime too!

Tsume: Toboe, you can't escape the crappiness of anime these days.

Kiba: Let's keep going, there has to be some good stuff around here.

* * *

_In a dark and scary place, there lurked three evil men, bent on destroying Kiba and his friends. Vash the Stampede, Spike Speigel, and Kenshin all met in the lair._

Vash: Our plan is falling into place, those four had made fun of our anime for the last time!

Spike: I'm sick and tired of those assholes. Thinking they're smarter than everybody else and making up these witty criticisms about our work.

Kenshin: Soon, my evil army of Kuronekos will be sent out to attack those little bastards and their little fun time!

Vash: Finally, our pride will be restored! MWAHAHAHAHAHA _(lightning strike)_ wait... why does it do that?

Kenshin: What are talking about?

Vash: Here watch, MWAHAHAHAHAHA _(lightning strike)_ see!

Spike: Here's your problem.

_Spike unplugged the Dolby stereo, Evil Edition from the surge protector._

* * *

_Kiba and the boys kept on walking towards the upcoming anime releases. They continued to walk until they noticed the second volume of the Animatrix._

Kiba: This looks really good.

Toboe: I can hardly wait for this one to come out.

* * *

Morpheus: Neo, you have a choice, take the red pill, which will take you into the Matrix, or take the blue pill, which will make you into a low rate sex offender like Quagmire in Family Guy.

_Neo looked at both pills carefully. Two hourss later, he finally made a desicion._

Neo: I'll take both.

_Neo took both pills and gulped them down, then he disappeared. He reappeared again, this time in a different world._

Neo: Whoa, where am I?

_Just then, Kaname and Sanoske were walking up the steps to school._

Kaname: Uh Sanoske?

Sanoske: Yes, Ms. Chitori?

Kaname: Who the hell is this?

Sanoske: Hey if you're looking for the Animatrix, you're in the wrong anime.

Neo: Shit.

* * *

Tsume: Uh maybe not.

Hige: Yeah, let's go check out some other stuff.

Kiba: Hey, did any of you guys figure what Animation Solictors Society acctually stood for?

Toboe: Yeah it stands for a-

Announcer: A special announcement, would the following people please show up at the front of the elevator, Kiba, Hige, Tsume and Toboe, please show up at the front of the lobby elevator, thank you and have a nice day.

Hige: That's us!

Toboe: I wonder what they want?

Tsume: I don't like this one bit.

Kiba: Relax Tsume, if they turn out to be assholes, we can just kick their asses.

_The boys headed for the lobby and waited in front of the elevator. Just then, the elevator opened and the three evil men showed up._

Vash: Okay, which one of you is Kiba!?

Hige, Tsume, and Toboe all pointed to Kiba.

Kiba: Gee, thanks guys, you're real pals.

Spike: You little bastards have made fun of our anime for the last time!

Kenshin: Yeah and my army of Kuronekos will defeat you!

Vash: Hey wait, wasn't there supposed to be an army of Kuronekos?

Kenshin: I could've sworn I called Meryl to deliver the cats.

_Kenshin was redialing the number on a banana._

Spike: Uh, Kenshin?

Kenshin: Not now Spike, I'm kinda busy.

Spike: You're dialing a banana.

_Kenshin looked at what he was dialing._

Kenshin: Oh.

_Kenshin tossed the banana aside and gave his usual ass kicking pose._

Vash: Anyway, why do you hate our anime so much?

Tsume: It's not that we hate your anime.

Toboe: It's that you guys try to create so many spin-offs of the shows we love.

Hige: And that's why people have stopped watching.

Spike: Are they really that bad?

Hige: Yeah they are.

Kiba: I'd have more fun playing Hungry Hungry Hige.

* * *

Tsume: Come on Hige, finish that Quizzno's sub!

Toboe: Come on Hige, we have to give you apples for desert!

Hige: Stop forcing me to eat! I'm fat enough as it is!

Tsume: You're not fat!

Toboe: You're big-boned!

* * *

_To be continued..._


End file.
